it hurts

there is a pain in my heart that is aching, the is a voice inside trying to scream for help.

after all these time it still hurts, it still feels like a unbeatable nightmare, feels like its a never ending disaster, like something unbelievable which i can never accept. it still hurts after all these times.

my heart's been broken, scarred, I've bled out, and still bleeding

it was about six months ago when the walls started crumbling down on my head, it was three months ago when they put an end to everything and somehow my happiness. its been three months but it still hurts.

tonight when i was in the car, driving down the highway, looking beneath the stars was when it all came back crashing down on me. like a flash back, like a tender that just flashes right infront of your eyes and scares the hell out of you, but only worse. it all started running down my head, reminding me of how awful it ended. it was then when i felt like screaming and screaming, maybe someone would hear me out.

have you ever felt belonged?? have you ever felt like you are in the right place, at the right time with the right people??

for me it was all of that, but it was fake. i never knew what trap i was heading into. it was having people there for you but no one there to catch you when you fall, it was more like people pushing me down so i'd fall down.

have you ever had someone so close yet so far?? have you ever had a person who would fake it so well that you could no longer tell what was wrong and right?? have you ever had a person who made all the wrong thing feel right?? have you ever had someone who would be there till the last Minuit and when you need them to catch you cause you're falling you find out that they were the one who pushed you down.

have you ever had a person who screwed up your life without having you noticed till when all the damage was done??

he pushed me down, pushed me so hard that i can never forget the pain i felt when i hit the group. I've still got bruises all over my body. and my heart broke when i fell, my soul ripped, and my faith is gone.

all I'm left with is pain, and a broken heart..... and it still hurts